Mental Load - Share Your Story
“Mental load” is the invisible work of keeping life running. It’s the constant planning, organising, remembering, anticipating needs, and providing emotional support that happens inside your head, every single day.
It’s noticing when the fridge is empty, remembering appointments, making small decisions, managing family schedules, checking in on others’ feelings, and holding everything together.
While everyone experiences mental load to some degree, research consistently shows that women carry the majority of this responsibility even in modern, dual-income households. Studies have found that women are more likely to take on the cognitive and emotional labour of managing home life, regardless of their working hours or professional responsibilities.
Recent research highlighted by the University of Bath found that even among successful, career-focused women, the responsibility for managing household and family life still falls disproportionately on them. Similarly, wider sociological studies show that this imbalance is deeply embedded in social expectations and gender roles, rather than individual choice.
“While paid work and higher incomes reduce women’s physical housework, they do not lighten their cognitive labour. Mothers continue to shoulder the same level of ‘mental load’ of family life—planning, remembering, organising—regardless of whether they have more resources or less time.
“Even as women gain economic power, they remain responsible for anticipating and coordinating household needs—tasks that are largely invisible and difficult to delegate.”
And it’s not just at home.
In the workplace, women are also more likely to take on what’s often called “emotional labour”. This includes mediating conflict, supporting colleagues, remembering birthdays, or maintaining team morale. A recent BBC Worklife article described how this invisible labour often goes unrecognised, yet contributes significantly to stress and burnout.
Because the mental load is constant and often unnoticed, it can have a real impact on wellbeing. Carrying this ongoing responsibility can lead to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and a sense of always being “on. It’s the accumulation of hundreds of small, daily responsibilities that never fully switch off.
At York Women’s Counselling Service, we see the impact of this every day.
Many of the women we support speak about feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, and responsible for holding everything together, often without feeling seen or supported themselves. That’s why our counselling services exist: to offer a space where women can be heard, supported, and cared for through one-to-one counselling, for as long as they need it, regardless of their financial circumstances.
Why Your Story Matters
Mental load is often invisible, which can make it difficult to talk about or fully recognise and quantify, and because it disproportionately affects women, it’s also sometimes dismissed as “nagging” or “complaining.” But sharing real experiences is one of the most powerful ways to raise awareness, challenge assumptions, and create meaningful change.
We’re inviting women to share their experiences of the mental and emotional load they carry.
Do you find yourself managing other people’s emotions at work or at home?
Feeling drained by constant small decisions?
Supporting others, even when you’re already overwhelmed?
These experiences really do matter, and they are more common than many people realise.
By sharing your story, you can help others feel less alone, bring visibility to this hidden burden, and contribute to a wider conversation about how we can better support women in our community.
Share Your Experience
You’re welcome to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with (all stories can be shared anonymously).
Your voice can help us better understand the impact of the mental load and help create meaningful, lasting change.
If you’d like to take part, please email us at: enquiries@yorkwomenscounselling.org
